The thing about embarking on a new experience – travel, project, idea, decision, dream, opportunity – is that you always uncover yourself anew.

“Why don’t you write anymore?”
That’s the question that sent me running back here.
The number of false-start posts I’ve had in the last two months are shameful to say the least
You either go all in or it’s nothing at all.
So what keeps stopping me?
Sense of duty
Of what I should be doing (studying, reading, problem solving), and when I should be doing it (NOW!).
Ironically, that’s also what keeps me from starting. Anything.

When did the notion of putting thoughts out there seem so scary?
The moment certainty walked out the door
Of who I am/should be and exactly what I am/should be up to.
We all – or I do – like to put things out there that We are – I am – sure about
Nobody wants to be accused of plagiarizing, heresay or concocting pure nonsense
Unless you’re just in the business of plagiarizing, heresay or concocting pure nonsense
If that’s the case then nobody has any business making grand statements about life
“Life – It’s the journey that counts”, “Despite all its gloom, life is still beautiful”
And other philosophical musings
So if certainty was never guaranteed to begin with, why limit oneself to what one deems to be “certain”?

You throw yourself into a new country, and you’re satisfied you’ve proceeded on some ‘immersion’
Honey, you have no idea how much.
What you will encounter is not the least bit as interesting as who you will encounter
No need to look around. It’s all YOU anyway. Yes you.
The student. The boy. The girl. The child. The man. The woman. The friend. The foreigner. The change maker.The confused. The hopeful. The procrastinator. The successful. The over-indulger. The guilt-tripper. The micro-detester. The conflict studies discoverer. The pizza devourer. The bicycle rider. The pinata breaker. [insert whichever cap fits]
Every delicious bit. All you.

Yet you get so caught up that when you finally – after God-knows how long – look within,
You see the foreign land has become you.
Unrecognizable, strange, exciting, new, but scary.
Uncomfortable to the point where you’re not sure whether to:
a) offer your hand for shaking b) bow down low in Oriental respect c)Give a huge smack on the cheek

You said you wanted to go on a journey. To learn new things, meet new people, and explore new ways of thinking.Well folks, it would seem Christmas came early.


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